Taking a week off
an adult's version of summer vacation
At the beginning of July I took a week off of work. I had long romanticized the idea of having a week of just staying home. I could relax! I could get random nagging errands done! The month of June left work life feeling strange and a little deflating. I had hoped that if I had 9 whole days away from the office it would spark that energy in me back up and I would feel a little less like a person stuck in a cube with no where to go.
The whole week I felt followed around by this nagging feeling I wasn’t doing my vacation right. While I did relax, I was still getting up at 6am with Drew because I can’t sleep if he is getting up. There was still marathon training and my toxic trait of having a to do list for any amount of free time I find myself with. I should just do all of my to-do’s on one day. Or I should be doing more things. Or I should be doing less things and instead relax more, go out to fun shops more or craft more. Despite hinderances of shoulder pain, a resistance towards spending money and a few to do’s being a little bit necessary.
There were grand delusions of going to coffee shops with the dog that were squashed with daily thunderstorms and incredibly hot weather in between. Or staining and painting the deck we’ve been working on all summer (also derailed by weather). I did go to the pottery studio during the day a couple of times that week. Despite a flop session it was enjoyable. And I was able to stagger my marathon training to be later in the morning or include a friend.
This whole summer I’ve been returning to the “I want a summer like when I was a kid, full of crafts, library books and doing nothing.” The longer I’m in this summer phase the more it feels uncomfortable. It is probably a growing period or a shift in how life is going to be going.
It might be different because the last time I had a week off in the summer, the rest of the world wasn’t plummeting into chaos. In Summer of 2023, so much bad had yet to happen. That week off was almost a celebration of getting to start a new job and finally resting. This year, it felt like trying to bandage something larger and more sinister. Resting felt strange and ridiculous. Instead of reading more books, I binge watched Love Island USA season 7 to combat the sheer audacity of the big ugly bill getting passed and the bad taste in my mouth of people celebrating the fourth.
I think in this moment, the best thing to do is to just be as grateful as possible that I have the time to get a paid week off and that doesn’t impact other plans. I got to spend more time with Oak who loves having me home. It did give me that little reset to come back with a mindset that is more centered.
I don’t think I could swing this every year but I would like to try, even if it’s just a few days instead of a whole week. Just time to tick off some lingering tasks and attempting to relish in not doing anything but staying at home.